Independence and Mutual Independence

WARNING

When I did something wrong, it didn’t feel irrevocable at the time.

Eighteen years of wandering taught me that nothing is worth regretting—all outcomes, good or bad, are merely inevitable steps in the process of growth. In other words, they are predestined, they are “meant to be.”

Until something truly irreversible and unbearably painful happens, the pride of independence becomes a fleeting anesthetic; its only effect is to amplify the pain when you glance back unexpectedly.

The more I try to remove this thorn, the deeper it burrows.

The more I scrutinize the cause and effect, the more regret and fantasies mercilessly invade my mind. The stubbornness of youth retreats step by step, leaving the gates of cowardice wide open—turns out there is no such thing as “no regrets,” only wounds that haven’t struck deep enough. Shatter this irreplaceable thing, and watch what replaces it!

“If only I had… back then."—Over time, even such wistful fantasies vanish, leaving only hollow remorse to fill hollow memories, like an abandoned lighthouse that never guided anyone to light.

What’s the use of regret now?

Time won’t reverse, and what’s lost is lost. All I can do is deceive myself, labeling this thorn as “one of the inevitable setbacks in the journey of growth.”

So-called independence is merely getting used to a thorn lodged in your flesh—like wearing glasses long enough that you no longer feel them.
— Lone Kite

Looking back from the other side of time, I wholeheartedly believe that nothing was ever right or wrong, just inevitable—no regrets, no illusions.

And since independence must be mutual,

$$Pr(A∩B)=Pr(A)×Pr(B)$$

, surely the other person must also be able to smile while telling the story by now.

Still, I sometimes wonder what the scenery would be like on that untouched path, free from footprints.